Dear British exile and asylum authorities

บทความน่าสนใจลองอ่านดูมีัคนส่งมาให้ทาง mail

Dear British exile and asylum authorities
By Tulsathit Taptim
The Nation
Published on August 20, 2008

THINGS are complicated in Thailand so please bear with me. Surely, you must be wondering why I call it "political persecution" after they allowed me and my family to leave on first-class flights with enough luggage to provide warmth for all the street bums in London? All I'm saying is, everything Thai flatters to deceive at the moment.


I had no choice. The people who were after me let me know that I was going to lose, and lose BIG. They treated me like a snake in the house - surrounding the poor thing, armed with broomsticks, cleavers and hockey sticks and leaving the door open. What would you do?

Once I'd taken the only way out I had, they deemed me a coward and used that to virtually convict me of these "crimes". If that is not political persecution of the smartest kind, I don't know what is. Now, having made me a fugitive with a shattered reputation, they want me back. Like OJ Simpson, my "innocence" was destroyed once I started running, and future punishment will be justified in their eyes.

If you fall prey to this trick and agree to send me back, consider the consequences. Not only will you be feeding a democratic champion of the poor to the dictatorial lions, your own standing as the last refuge for freedom fighters in distress will also collapse. And that will be just a tiny part of your problem.

Think about your economy. In fact, think about the world economy. My exile or asylum will provide the likes of Bell Pottinger Group - England's biggest PR company - with unlimited contracts. It takes a concerted, global effort by publicists, here in England and elsewhere, to fight the Thai Hitlers disguised as judges. I, as a free man, can keep a lot of people employed, and for a noble cause.

Think about your tourism. When Thai politicians come to visit me here with their families and aides, and aides of their families, together with the families of those aides - they spend. And these people have connections, you know. Of course, your image as a haven for political refugees needs no further promotion, but news of your righteousness and generosity deserve to reach the remotest or most ignorant parts of the world.

If you allow me to stay, they will come. Thailand's crazy laws on taxes, conflicts of interest and the kind of foreign investment phobia that demonised the likes of Ample Rich and Win Mark, guarantee that a lot of good, selfless politicians will in no time be flushed out, crying for your help. By the way, do you have a place for my friend Vatana Asavahame, who is languishing somewhere in Cambodia?

If you kick me out, think of your Common Law, of how it will be dragged down to the same muddy level as the prejudiced, pretentious and highly politicised Thai constitutions. On the other hand, imagine how your support for me will serve as inspiration for all democracy advocates around the world.

Think of Manchester City, of how people will lose faith in the sport - if you allow politics to interfere with it - that your great nation proudly created for the world. Things were going so well until they refused to unlock my hard-earned, frozen assets, sentenced my wife to jail and made us flee Thailand. Are you willing to allow Thai dictators to bring down the only football club to beat Manchester United twice last season?

And, come to think of it, imagine what a fortune we could make skinning the bookies together. Surely Ladbrokes, William Hill or Sportingbet will give tantalising odds regarding my future. With inside information, we can't lose.

Think of ending this once and for all. If you let me stay, the problem is solved. If you send me back, it will be deja vu all over again. Court cases against me are likely to drag on for at least two more years, by which time there will be a World Cup in South Africa. They will lift a travel ban and allow me to attend the opening ceremony again - and guess what, I will bolt again. You surely know my destination, don't you?

Finally, think of your face. You welcomed me and let me buy one of your football teams, God damn it. How bad will it look if you had to admit to the world that you permitted a criminal to live like a king in your land and run a prestigious business, with football fans singing his name. How bad will it look that you allowed a snake in your house? You aren't going to give those cynical, acerbic Thai columnists that pleasure, are you?

Yours always,

Democracy's Poster Boy


http://www.nationmultimedia.com/2008/08/20/opinion/opinion_30080982.php